Mikey’s Eulogy

Mikey was born into addiction, and he battled it his entire life. He basically became a poster boy for all that is wrong with our various social service systems and was one of the victims of those systems. Before he passed, he told his doctor that he had known his fate since he was twelve years old. His parents had him selling drugs by then, and he knew he “didn’t have a chance.” His life and death were proof that we need to do better as a society.

Most people would walk past Mikey in the streets, judging him. They had no idea that he had people who loved him. He had siblings, an extended family that came in all shapes and sizes, and his children, Lucy and Cass, who were his pride and joy.

On November 3, 2024, Mikey lost his lifelong battle with addiction in a shelter. I received a phone call from the Vancouver Police a couple of days later and shared the news with Lucy. Though his passing brought profound sadness to her, she knew Mikey had been released from the pain and suffering he experienced his entire life.

She also knew that, despite all the unfortunate circumstances of his life, Mikey loved her and was very proud of her. She was blessed to have had some form of relationship with him, even if it wasn’t ideal, and her first thought was to take him on a trip to somewhere he had never been and spread his ashes in a peaceful place.

In Mikey’s obituary, Lucy wrote about how, when she was younger, Mikey always showed up for visits when he said he would. How glad she was that he made an effort to be in her life, even with all the demons he was facing. She wrote: "You never failed to tell me how proud you were of me and how much you loved me. I feel I had so much more to learn from you, but sadly, our time has been cut short. Dad you will never go unrecognized the way you talked about Cass and I and loved us unconditionally even though you were fighting so many battles. I know you’re smiling down at all of us and watching out for us. I hope you are free from the demons and not suffering anymore."

And from Cass: “My Dad was a kind and loving father. Although the circumstances were set against him, he always made sure to remind me that I was thought about, cared for, and dearly loved. Even though he wasn’t accepted by most of the world, he found solace in knowing his kids loved him and took great pride in being a parent and a father. He fought to be a good man, but he ended up being something better—a loving and caring father. Until we meet again, I love you forever and always. May you rest easy now."

When I think about Mikey, I remember how he would always message me about Lucy, asking me to tell her he said "Hi," and that he loved her. He was also kind enough to express his gratitude that I was taking care of Lucy. He was honest in saying that, as much as he wished things were different, he was not able to give her the life she deserved.

When he first began visiting, he was very present. He would ask Lucy to tell him about what she was doing and tell her how proud he was of her. Whether pushing her on a swing or making crafts at Mama’s place, he was always beaming around her.

When he began struggling and his drug use was apparent, he respected the boundaries that had to be put in place. While he allowed Lucy that respect, he and I communicated. He would let me know he was alright so that I could let Lucy know because he didn’t want her to worry about him.

If there is anything that can help us heal, it’s knowing that beyond this small circle of loved ones, Mikey was cared about.This included the kindness shown to Mikey by the earth angels of the Granville St. Shelter where he resided for quite some time and especially that of his Doctor Ashley. After the call from the police I was given her phone number in case any of his family wanted to reach out. During our call, Ashley told me that she had been his doctor for about three years. He had infections that were difficult to treat. For about the last year of his life, he had a permanent room and stayed pretty close. She expressed what a kind and gentle soul Mikey was. He knew his fate and accepted it, but his one regret was not being able to be more present in his children’s lives. She told me how proud he was of both of his daughters and how he prayed they would not follow in his footsteps. She also shared that it meant the world to her that we had reached out, as usually, she never hears from those left behind.

Mikey left a legacy in his two daughters, something that not every father does. Despite his challenges, he left two wonderful humans for the rest of the world to know and love. Two daughters who know that even though he was not physically present in their everyday lives, he had an impact. He showed them not only the meaning of unconditional love, but he also tried to show them that they were worthy of it.

Going forward, Lucy and Cass will miss his physical presence but will carry that legacy with them in their hearts.

Rest in pride, Mikey.